For some of us, getting a first date may not be too difficult, but we’re often left wondering what went wrong when a second date never materializes. Consider what you may have done to discourage him or her from calling you again. A common reason why second dates are so elusive is that you may have appeared too desperate or needy. Did you give your date the impression that you are willing to settle for any single person who will give you the time of day? A call the next day to let the person know you enjoyed their company may be appropriate but too many calls, emails or voice mails will drive them away in a New York minute.
Use self-control and patience, but don’t play too hard-to-get! A compliment on your date’s clothing or appearance is welcome, but too many compliments, or one repeated too often, can be alarming. Don’t overdo it and give them the impression your flattery is insincere. Keep the dating conversation light. Ask them about their job, their interests and their family.
Be genuinely interested in the answers and give him or her time to talk and ask questions, too. Don’t delve into personal issues and past relationships, or ask if they’re looking for a serious relationship. Leave those issues alone until you’ve dated a few times and had the opportunity to get to know each other better and find that you enjoy being together. Keep your first meeting short. Spend one or two hours together. A short, enjoyable meet and greet is preferable to one that last hours when you’ve figured out after the first ten minutes that he or she just isn’t for you! On the flip side, a short date will leave them wanting to spend more time with you instead of regretting an ill-spent evening. Drink responsibly. One or two drinks may make the dating conversation flow more smoothly, but too much alcohol may show a side of you that you may not want to expose!
Becoming inebriated on the first date may make them wonder whether you have an alcohol problem and can lead to other unintentional behaviors. When you are looking for a serious relationship, you want to be the kind of person that anyone would introduce to their family. So, try to exude qualities of a secure confident person who has a life of your own and isn’t spending time waiting by the phone in desperation for someone to love them. So no matter how awkwardly the first meeting went, these are the matchmaking qualities that will inspire a follow up date.