Discover your own personal style.
Locate the best places to shop.
The second shopping tip is location, location, location! Now that you are armed with self knowledge, you are ready to find stores that showcase your personal style. My pal, Dr. Phil calls this a target-rich environment (“where the boys are”). This is where you shop. Discontinue that nightclub, bar-hopping bargain basement shopping where the idea is to get something for nothing or to get something quick and in a hurry. You must be more discriminating and purposeful in your shopping.
A word of caution: Don’t go to an event or locale purely to meet eligible men. The man is the hunter; you are merely shopping. A good friend of mine said “A man is just an accessory.” And for most women, accessorizing is fun! In fact, men have said there is nothing more attractive than a woman enjoying herself. Therefore, choose hangouts, events or activities that you are genuinely interested in. Your enjoyment must resound from within.
Shop with the end in mind.
Shop with the end in mind. No more impulse buying. No more making a purchase based on attraction only. Yes, he might be as sexy as Matthew McConaughey or as charismatic as Densel Washington. She may be a timeless beauty like Demi Moore or every man’s fantasy, Halle Berry. But if there is no strength of character…NEXT.
Read the Care Instructions.
I learned early on that it is just as important to get auto insurance estimates and find out the cost of maintenance when shopping for a car. Likewise, it is very important to read the care instructions when deciding on a potential partner. Realistically, you need to surmise what it takes to maintain the product — the emotional, social, and spiritual investment.
A quality man or woman has a certain lifestyle and unique personal habits. For instance, a woman in management may be accustomed to spending $700 on a business suit without even blinking. A TV anchorman not only takes stock in his personal appearance but may pay big bucks for a personal stylist and groomer. I’m not suggesting that you settle, but you have to gauge the amount of sweat equity necessary.
Count up the cost.
Before you put that item in your shopping cart and march to the check out counter, count up the cost. This is where many a shopper loses heart and settles. “Do you love him?” “I’m not in love with him but my kids adore him.” “Do you love her?” “Sure, she’s a lawyer.” The costs may seem staggering-but not for a savvy shopper. A savvy shopper never settles. She has done her homework and knows not only the where’s and the how’s but the when’s of shopping.
Heather Headley sings, “Understand the Nature of a Man.” In my article, About Men: Do You Speak Male?, I reveal how important it is that a woman learn a man’s language. “If a man asks a woman a question, he is interested in one thing – the answer. He isn’t testing her for compatibility. In fact, most men find it boring when they’ve met a female clone of themselves. Take a tip from the popular Eddie Murphy movie, Coming to America. A good man wants a woman who has her own mind. Not someone who is waiting for a man to give her his…”
“It’s all about timing,” writes Dr. Phil. If you are looking for a lasting relationship, the key is to find an individual who is tired of chasing skirts and is looking to put down roots. He has to be available too. There is nothing more frustrating than having an impressive introduction but finding it easier to cross a busy intersection than to go on a date. Just because his profile reads “looking for a relationship,” you may find that his life is too crowded. Having the kids this weekend, a demanding work schedule or doing stuff with/for his family may be reasons he offers for unreturned phone calls and cancelled dates. Only you can determine if there is sufficient payoff to warrant your sustained interest.
If you hold fast to these five tips, I can’t promise that you’ll be married within the year, but I can promise that you’ll increase the likelihood of having the relationship you desire. And you’ll have goo-gobs of fun doing it. So get ready… set… SHOP!