Deep-seated emotions that have suffered damage will certainly affect your outlook on future relationships and thus your attitude toward them.
Some things to look out for and be mindful of when it comes to your view on relationships includes:
• Do you stereotype men?
• Do you believe relationships are doomed to eventually fail?
• Do you sabotage relationships?
• Despite past disappointments, can you maintain an optimistic view of the future?
We can all be guilty at times of stereotyping the opposite sex. Sometimes it’s just done in good humor, based rather loosely on some very general truths. Stereotyping in jest is pretty harmless fun. Serious stereotyping, however, is a more critical matter when it comes to relationships. It can distort one’s views on reality, and at times blind you to the reality of the person you are dating and what they are truly like.
Try to avoid stereotyping; particularly of negative facets of a gender. No one likes to be presumed guilty before being proven innocent.
Having preconceived, negative views on the future of your relationships is an unhealthy outlook. True, many relationships break down and do fail. But many don’t. Take note of elderly couples as a prime example. The more deeply you know yourself and the better you know what you want will all go a long way in attracting the right man for you. And if you meet the right guy, there is no plausible reason why the relationship can’t grow into a long and fulfilling union.
Some people have a habit of self-destructing. Consciously or subconsciously – and quite a common occurrence too, I discovered in the survey process for this book – many people have a tendency to sabotage their relationships, and therefore their happiness.
Why do people do this?
• An unfortunate bad habit
• The past rearing its ugly head
• A fear of happiness and fulfillment
• A fear of being hurt
Although all of the above are pertinent to this issue, the most common reason was a fear of being hurt. A need for one partner to sabotage the relationship and bring it to an end before the other partner could possibly do anything to hurt them. The timing of this relationship break down practice is interesting too. Usually the sabotaging takes place just at the moment the fearful partner is really starting to feel deep emotions for the other person. Self-preservation kicks in, driven by a deep-seated fear of being hurt and the vulnerability that goes with caring for someone beyond mere interest or infatuation.
If you suffer from this affliction, it is something that seriously needs to be addressed if you are to hope for a happy and contented future. Seeking some professional counseling may be required.
In the event that you have suffered hurt and pain in your relationship past, do you have the ability to maintain an optimistic outlook for your relationship future?
Obviously it is important that you do. Gain confidence and reassurance from the fact that you have learned from your mistakes, you now know yourself better and have a firmer grasp on what you are looking for in a partner.
The above article is an excerpt from the author’s book “Turn Me On: How To Attract A Man” by Darren G. Burton. To view or purchase a copy, visit: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1409221822/